kristan

You know what’s the best part about this place? It’s not called Red Capsicum.

- Max, eating at Red Pepper

It looks so cold and rainy outside. Oh wait, it’s 93 degrees.

- Max, in Australia

Look at those birds! Oh god. Those aren’t birds, they’re bats!

- Max, on hearing a large ruckus coming from a tree

I’m the one whose bag always disappears.

- Kristan, at the Qantas baggage counter

I don’t really need to put a harness on again.

- Max, on doing the Sydney Bridge Climb

I don’t want your hokey pokey on my passionfruit.

- Max, about his first New Zealand ice cream

Are we in New Zealand or Africa? Look, there’s water buffalo!!

- Max, upon reaching the “savannah” just north of Haast

I just keep imagining that’s where you go to buy a cat to wear as a hat.

- Max, after passing yet another cattery

I am in fact allergic to, uh, everything in New Zealand. Good to know.

- Max, in the lush hills of Hobbiton